043 Unravelling Trauma Through Conscious Sexuality with Juliette Karaman

Hello, lovely listeners, and welcome back to another captivating episode of Beyond the Words with me, Dimple Thakrar! Today, I'm thrilled to share with you an extraordinary conversation that delves deep into the realms of healing through conscious sexuality. Buckle up for an insightful journey with our remarkable guest, Juliette Karaman.

Summary:
In this episode, we embark on an enlightening journey with Juliette Karaman, as she candidly shares her transformative experiences with conscious sexuality. Juliette's story unveils how exploring BDSM and conscious sexual practices became powerful tools for her healing journey, particularly in addressing past trauma. Through vulnerable storytelling, she reveals how reenacting past experiences in a controlled environment allowed her to rewrite the narrative of her trauma, ultimately leading to profound healing and liberation.

Key Takeaways:

1. Healing Through Conscious Sexuality: Juliette's journey highlights the profound healing potential of conscious sexual practices, such as BDSM, in addressing deep-seated trauma.
2. Rewriting the Narrative: By reenacting past experiences in a safe and controlled environment, individuals can rewrite their trauma narratives and reclaim their sense of empowerment.
3. The Power of Presence: Juliette emphasises the importance of presence and embodiment in healing, encouraging listeners to unclench and embrace the present moment.
4. Creating Safe Spaces: Through her unique approach to holding space, Juliette creates environments of safety and liberation, where individuals can explore their vulnerabilities and experiences without judgment.
5. Embracing Pleasure: Beyond traditional notions of sexuality, Juliette invites listeners to explore pleasure in all its forms, finding joy and liberation in the present moment.

Juliette Resource Links: 

• Website: https://feelfullyyou.com/
• Podcast: https://feelfullyyou.com/podcast
• Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/juliettekaraman

Dimple Thakrar Resource Links:

Website: https://dimpleglobal.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/dimple.thakrar
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dimplethakrar/

Transcript

Beyond the Words EP43

[00:00:00] Dimple Thakrar: Hello and welcome back to Beyond the Words with me Dimple Thakra. Today, oh my frigging God, have I got a guest for you guys. I want to start by telling you about how I met this person. beautiful woman before I bring her up and we play. Be aware, you're in for a treat, okay? If you are sensitive to anything that will tiptoe into sexuality, please don't listen to this one.

[00:00:34] Dimple Thakrar: or watch it. I don't want you to get upset. All right, so how I met this divine woman is through a mastermind called The Channel with Melanie Ann Layer and it was in a moment of my darkness, it was in a moment of my deep sorrow and shadow that this beautiful woman who I have never met before then, ever, Only through an online mastermind opened her heart and her home to me.

[00:01:07] Dimple Thakrar: And she said, come stay with me, Dimple. Just come stay with me. I'll look after you. And I swear to God, I, people say that to you, right? And you get a vibe that they don't mean it. I felt in every bone in my body that this beautiful woman absolutely meant it because she could hold me. As a sister, she could hold me.

[00:01:30] Dimple Thakrar: And I said yes, and I never say yes to anything like that. Imagine going to a stranger's home. I didn't even know where she lived and I said yes. Without further ado, I want to introduce and welcome a woman with the most incredible heart and soul, and today I want to dive deep into how this occurred.

[00:01:50] Dimple Thakrar: Without further ado, welcome Juliette Karaman. Welcome. How 

[00:01:56] Juliette Karaman: are you, my love? Hi, my love. Wow, what an introduction. But yeah, I think you hit the nail on the head, and I forget about that. The depth of which I hold people, and I think it's years of experience, and years of helping people pass on, years of helping people in their deepest despair, and unraveling trauma, sexual trauma.

[00:02:20] Juliette Karaman: But once you start playing in these realms, and especially like you said, sexuality is a taboo subject still, right? Once you can hold people in that, then everything's just come! We've set up this house in a way that it's become a sanctuary for people to come and create and really relax and be themselves.

[00:02:38] Dimple Thakrar: I love that so much, and you do. Honestly, I arrived. And I didn't feel like I was walking into a stranger's home. I felt like I was walking into home. And it was because of the way that you set it up. It's because of the sheer love that you hold for people. And it's an unconditional love that's so unique and so special.

[00:03:02] Dimple Thakrar: And it's cultivated, I know, over years. of living the embodiment of your work and developing it. So I would love for us to start, Juliette, if we may, with and this came through for me at 3am this morning, asked Juliette, because somebody needs to hear this, and I want to start with your story of how vlogging freed you from a sexual trauma.

[00:03:27] Dimple Thakrar: Yeah, if you if you're okay to go there, because that story is so 

[00:03:31] Juliette Karaman: powerful. I'm completely okay to talk about that. It was funny, earlier this week I was on a very Christian religious podcast and I didn't know it was, religious and Christian, and I was talking about my story that I got flogged and I could just see the host like starting to tighten up saying, I'm not judging you.

[00:03:51] Juliette Karaman: What you do is between you and your husband and God. And I was like, Ooh, okay. And everyone just take a breath. so I'm a mother of four kids had quite a happy marriage until at one point I didn't anymore. And we can all probably think that there were times in our marriage that we're like this is not going the right way.

[00:04:16] Juliette Karaman: Fast forward. I. Get divorced and go back into a relationship with a man with three kids. So seven children under the age of 19. Seven different schools, seven different holidays, seven different everything. So I was like a military general. Overgiving, etc. So that landed me in hospital. My body gave up on me.

[00:04:40] Juliette Karaman: And I started fainting, so I spent 9 months in and out of hospital. Fast forward again, I'm just gonna go through this part quickly, but it's important. The relationship broke up. I started healing, recognizing like, Oh my God, I've been over giving of myself and really dove even deeper into my spiritual journey and psychology because I'd already been helping kids with special needs.

[00:05:08] Juliette Karaman: So that was really my beginning of my story. And my way into this was conscious sexuality. So at one point, after I'd done a coaching program was in this community that really helped people open up through conscious sexuality, through Tantra, BDSM. I was like, oh, BDSM, that kind of It was, I think that the class was called Taboo and I was like, Oh, anything that's taboo is that's cool.

[00:05:35] Juliette Karaman: So I flew over to San Francisco and we had this class and they were teaching people how to flog. And for people, you don't know what a flogger is. It's made out of leather or suede and on a long, longish handle, and you create impact with people, on people. And this is one of the ways that we can use kink, right?

[00:05:59] Juliette Karaman: It's impact play, it can be psychological. There are lots, the kink realm is massive. This day we were learning how to flog other people, and I love the way that a flogger was in my hand, and I love the way that I could see the energy move in people's bodies when I would hit them in between their shoulders or on their bottom, because there are only certain bits that you could actually flog someone with.

[00:06:25] Juliette Karaman: Other bits are really dangerous. And then when it was my turn to receive, Energy started popping around me and I was like, oh my god, you know when you inflate a balloon and you know that it's just about to pop and you're getting into that popping bit? That's what my whole body was. It was like quivering.

[00:06:44] Juliette Karaman: And the person that was flogging me wasn't, didn't quite know what to do so I could feel their hesitancy. So I called the dom and her assistant and I'm like, Something's about to happen and I explained to them, I said, I'm quivering like this and thank God they were very trauma informed. So I said, can both of you do it?

[00:07:01] Juliette Karaman: So I had and these thuddy things on your body and it's just right next in between my shoulder blades. And I could feel it. And I was like, pop. Got into this vibrational state that my body just shook and shook and I wailed, and all the images, thoughts, body sensations, emotions started flooding in.

[00:07:24] Juliette Karaman: And for 20 odd years, I had suppressed this date rape that happened to me when I was 18, and this was in my forties. That has happened, I think, 45. For all those years, I had suppressed it. So this came flooding in and I was wailing and I was crying and there was snot flying and I was laughing at the same time.

[00:07:45] Juliette Karaman: This is what the body and what the emotions do. I'm beautifully held by these two women that it didn't last very long, but I could complete that trauma cycle. And then, before knowing what I know now, is I recognize it's Oh, I need to duplicate that and give it a different ending. So just if you have a fear of flying, go, and I've always done this, I would jump out of an airplane.

[00:08:15] Juliette Karaman: I had a fear of spiders, I had tarantulas being put on my, my my body. And all these kind of things, I've always known this instinctively that, To change it, you can duplicate it but give it a different ending. So duplicating meaning, make it almost the same. So I flew back to London. 

[00:08:35] Dimple Thakrar: Just to say, what you're doing there is reprogramming your nervous system to respond.

[00:08:41] Juliette Karaman: Completely. Your mind, your nervous system. Yep. 

[00:08:45] Dimple Thakrar: Yep. 

[00:08:45] Juliette Karaman: Continue. Sorry. Completely. So you're creating, yeah, so you're creating new neuropathways that you're not being pulled back into that past experience, but you're now free of it. Yes, 

[00:09:00] Dimple Thakrar: exactly. Thank you. 

[00:09:01] Juliette Karaman: Yeah, continue. So I flew back to London and contacted a dom because I was like this BDSM thing is obviously something that, that's helped me remember something that has lain buried for over 20 odd years.

[00:09:16] Juliette Karaman: So I contacted this dom, I explained what I wanted to do and he's Wow, okay, that's cool. I usually don't do healing like this. But you seem very convinced that it's going to work and let's do it. So I got five guys and him to recreate the scene in Spain when I was 18. We reenacted it, but we gave it a different ending and the relief in my body and the way that everything just started shaking and falling back into place.

[00:09:45] Juliette Karaman: I was like, the moment I then thought back at it, there was no fear. There was no blame, no shame, nothing. It was like, oh, this is something that happened to me, but it doesn't define me. 

[00:09:59] Dimple Thakrar: Nice. Just to clarify for the audience, you were effectively date raped by a more than one man and 18 and at 45 ish you re enacted that in a controlled way that you were in charge of and you rewired your nervous system to respond in a different way and so this is something that I really want it to land for people that We can use sexuality.

[00:10:36] Dimple Thakrar: We can use the whole spectrum of sexual play in a very unique healing way. And this is not for everyone. I'm not suggesting that. What I'm suggesting is that this is something that is such a unique perspective on flogging, on the whole thing around it being dirty and that the whole cultural, like I'm Hindu raised and it's taboo to speak about sex.

[00:11:11] Dimple Thakrar: It's taboo to even mention that you have sex. Like I felt, I remember feeling really weird about telling my dad that I was pregnant with our first child. Because it would confirm that we'd had sex, right? It's absolute confirmation that we'd had sex, right? For me, I wanted you to share this story, to let people know that this is a beautiful way to use something that is so natural, innate as animals.

[00:11:43] Dimple Thakrar: To heal. Thank you for sharing. Please, Juliette, 

[00:11:47] Juliette Karaman: continue. So true. And this is true, right? We have so much stigma. We have so much shame about it. Yes. Sexuality and what were we taught and what did your religion teach us? What, how are our parents with sex? And oftentimes when I get people who come and work with me, they don't even, they're not even clued up about this because they haven't really thought about that.

[00:12:12] Juliette Karaman: There's no awareness there. So that is one of the first things that I ask. I'm like, what does sex mean to you? What is sex to you? Because you might have one definition of sex and your partner might have a completely different way of what they think sex is. So it's just, it's what I love doing is we have cross wires, we're energetically wired.

[00:12:36] Juliette Karaman: And then sometimes these wires get a bit askew. So what I do is I reconnect them, and then the energy can flow properly. And then people can start. Experiencing pleasure again, remembering that they are all energetic beings and that sex is very natural. And pleasure is very natural. And people think pleasure always has to be sexual, but it doesn't.

[00:13:02] Juliette Karaman: It could be anything that brings you joy, anything that just has your heart your body just ah, take a breath. The way the sunshine hits your face. That is all. For me, those are my little bundles of joy, like I like to call them. I love it. We're coming back to the flogging experience.

[00:13:23] Juliette Karaman: Came to London, re enacted it, rewired my nervous system and rewired the way that I thought about sex and hindsight is a beautiful thing because then all the moments Started flagging up, I think back, I'm like, Oh, this is when I had sex and I didn't really want to, and this is when I didn't feel good, and and it's not like I had been really very prude, I have four children, lots of miscarriages, I've had lovers, I had a husband, another fiancee, so it was like, it's, I've been very sexually active, but looking at it in hindsight, it's had I really been true to myself, Or was it a way of reaching out?

[00:14:09] Juliette Karaman: So then what happened is I don't train with this dom and Just explain what DOM is to people. A DOM is a DOMinatrix or a DOM, a DOMinance. So it's the person that actually holds beautiful space for you, for the person in front of them to open up. So it's the same that a coach or a therapist would do, except we might use impact or we might use psychological play and just play around with the edges of what is taboo for them.

[00:14:42] Juliette Karaman: And I would say if you're intrigued by this, there's a lot of kink, but do your research on the people. Do your research on the doms, because as a dom or a dominatrix, we are in the surrendered position. We are Actually noticing and tracking every single sensation, all the body clues, all the inhalations of breath, where that person in front of us is.

[00:15:11] Juliette Karaman: So it's not the picture of, the tight leather or latex outfit it could be, and someone just slamming and hitting and angry and get into your cage. This is someone's kink, they might like it. But the way I have always used it is for healing, for the deep healing, to get to these deep states of ecstasy, of surrender, because just like with meditation or plant medicine, in flogging and an impact plane, even In just psychological play and in sexuality, you can get to these places that you are one with the universe, that you are having out of body experiences.

[00:15:57] Juliette Karaman: Yeah, I call it orgasm with the universe. But you can do that in a very beautifully controlled way and that also rewires the nervous system. 

[00:16:07] Dimple Thakrar: So good. It's so good. And I have to tell you, I have experienced Juliette's domming in many ways. And in my perception of a dominatrix prior to Juliette and me experiencing Juliette has been very much the traditional, they're in charge and you have, you don't have any say in anything and very, you are very, you have to be very submissive and.

[00:16:42] Dimple Thakrar: It put the fear of God in me, honestly, but then, and I'm sure for a lot of people, that's the perceived persona of a dom, right? And the way you hold space is so incredibly safe that it liberates you. Experiencing your doming liberated me. And to the point of fun and play and childlike and it wasn't, it didn't feel anything sexual in a way that I'd ever experienced before.

[00:17:19] Dimple Thakrar: And I've experienced you doming me and I've experienced and witnessed you doming somebody else. And without giving any detail, because the detail is not necessary, it's more about the impact and the way it left me feeling. You hold space in such a safe way. I tell you, there was one other time that I felt that, and it was when I had the intervention with Tony Robbins.

[00:17:50] Dimple Thakrar: the two hour intervention with Tony Robbins. Now, he is a very big man and it can be very scary, him shouting at you the way he did, right? Of course. And yet, my soul felt safe, right? My soul felt safe because I felt his integrity. and his heart, right? And I felt the same way with you, Juliettete. Your integrity in your heart means that all you feel is that this person has got me.

[00:18:26] Dimple Thakrar: And in that getting me releases a liberation way beyond anybody can experience, right? And so you're a master at holding space. So tell us how did 

[00:18:42] Juliette Karaman: I learn that?

[00:18:43] Juliette Karaman: It's interesting, right? I think we do learn that. And when I used to be a director of this conscious sexuality program, we brought their first coaching program to London. I did a lot of what we call back of house. I'd be in either teaching, but also back of house. I'd be like, I'd be in the room grounding.

[00:19:05] Juliette Karaman: Because, when you're talking about conscious sexuality or Tantra, you're using a lot of energy. So people can dissociate, get out of here, like all of a sudden get massively emotional. So I would be there grounding and with grounding, earthing. How I like to teach it to people is imagine that you have zippers in your hands and in your feet.

[00:19:28] Juliette Karaman: You just open them up. And then you place them on something hard, on the floor, or on a piece of wood, or even on your legs. And you just imagine all the energy that you're sucking, all the energy out of the room, into your body, through your body, down into the earth. And that they are creating roots. And What I used to do is actually take it off and threw my body all the energy from everyone else.

[00:19:54] Juliette Karaman: I'd be in pain. Now, I just know Oh, it's clean. Go through. And it doesn't, I'm like, Suck it up. It's like a vacuum cleaner. I was just 

[00:20:01] Dimple Thakrar: going to say, you really don't want to put it through your body. 

[00:20:04] Juliette Karaman: Please. No. Now, it's just Now, you ground yourself. And then it's just vacuum cleaner.

[00:20:09] Juliette Karaman: Boom. It goes into the earth. And that, years of experience, right? I've had four children in under three years time. I've helped many people pass over. I've helped people deal with massive sexual trauma, suicide, all of that. You learn to have a capacity. And I think Also, this is where human design comes in really well, that just by being in my energy, people already feel safe, and it's ah, I've never felt this.

[00:20:41] Juliette Karaman: And I hadn't realized that I had this as of, a little toddler. 

[00:20:46] Dimple Thakrar: You have a deep presence and a fun and a play, and a vulnerability, that's so Lovely and heartwarming. I remember we've been on a retreat with a mutual mentor and Andrea Grund, or now Morningstar, and I remember us all sitting in a circle and you were sat on one of the Pilates balls, the big squidgy ones, right?

[00:21:11] Dimple Thakrar: And you're sat there and we're all on cushions on the floor in a circle. It sounds a bit like a seance, but it's not. It was very much free flowing, an energy healing place. And all of us, including Andrea, were like We just want to sit on your lap. And you're like, come on up, anybody's available, and it wasn't a sexual thing.

[00:21:39] Dimple Thakrar: It was very much a nurturing like we just wanted to be connected with you. We just wanted to feel that safety, almost like a mothering, but not in a mothering way. It was a, how can I love you and support you? It felt to me like you were channeling the universal love. of all that is. 

[00:22:04] Juliette Karaman: I remember that well, and I remember just getting that hit all of a sudden.

[00:22:08] Juliette Karaman: It's do you want to come sit on my knee? And I said it to someone and I was like, where did that come from? She was really shy I'm not sure I can. I'm like, okay whoever wants to sit on my knee, come sit on my knee. And I think you hit the nail, actually, on the head again. It's, For a while, I think my energy attracted a lot of sexual people.

[00:22:30] Juliette Karaman: I would get like dick pictures out of the middle of nowhere. And I'm like, Whoa, I'm like, okay, got to clean that up. So obviously I'm leaking some kind of sexual energy. And that has completely cleared for years. And when I used to be a professional dominatrix and. I still do this with VIP clients.

[00:22:50] Juliette Karaman: There never is any genital touch. There never is any sex. It's all about that sexual energy, which is so different than actual sex. 

[00:23:01] Dimple Thakrar: Love it. I love it. For anybody out there who wants to connect with Juliette, where do they find you? Where's your body of scrumptious work? 

[00:23:10] Juliette Karaman: My website is Feel Fully You.

[00:23:13] Juliette Karaman: My brand is called Feel Fully You because Yeah, we all actually want to feel. We all know ourselves not feeling, but feelfully you will have one on one work. I do a lot of group works. I run a mastermind, retreats, VIP days. There's lots of things there. And if you really want to start dipping into your toe into conscious sexuality, there's a course called scrumptious dates.

[00:23:42] Juliette Karaman: And then there's also the aerobic. Blueprint breakthrough course that I have on my website, since I'm also an erotic blueprint coach. Feel fully you Juliettete Caraman on Instagram and on Facebook. And tell us 

[00:23:56] Dimple Thakrar: your podcast. Oh 

[00:23:57] Juliette Karaman: yeah. So my podcast, I forgot about that. Yes. So the scrumptious woman is my podcast on all the normal avenues, wherever iTunes.

[00:24:09] Juliette Karaman: Whatever, Spotify, all of them are there. There's, there are a lot of episodes on sexuality, on how to flirt with life a little bit, and how to just have a little bit more fun in your life, including the pleasure bit. 

[00:24:27] Dimple Thakrar: Love it. Love it. Juliette, thank you so much for giving us a taster. And literally, we have only dipped our toe in this huge ocean of love that this woman is.

[00:24:40] Dimple Thakrar: She's just, and I use the word scrumptious again because it's one of Juliettete's words, but it really does describe who she is. She's so delightfully scrumptious. Like, when you sit with Juliettete, it's like eating the most. Delicious, divine, silky smooth chocolate cake. That feeling that you get, right?

[00:25:05] Dimple Thakrar: It's just, and I'm not really a chocolate lover, but I just, that's the serotonin hit that you get, right? With Juliettete. Thank you so much for today and for allowing us to understand the depth of who you are and how you've got to where you are and how you hold space like a Jedi master.

[00:25:30] Dimple Thakrar: Without further ado, I want to ask the final question that I ask all my guests, which is, if you could give Juliette somebody one piece of advice. That goes beyond the words. What would that be? 

[00:25:45] Juliette Karaman: Alright, I'm going to tell you something. Unclench your butthole. Right now. Take a breath. I know that's a bit cheeky.

[00:25:53] Juliette Karaman: But we don't recognize how tense we are. And when all of a sudden, you can put your attention, it's Oh, actually, yeah. I'm a little bit puckered up, so we just unclench that, move around, wiggle around in your chair a little bit, and then just take a breath. Notice where that falls, and just recognize that you're present right here.

[00:26:16] Juliette Karaman: Any thought that can come in, just think that thought. Any emotion that comes in, feel that emotion. Whatever other body sensation comes up after you've unclenched, allow yourself to experience that. And this is how we get rid of the monkey mind and really are present in the here and now. 

[00:26:37] Dimple Thakrar: Love it. So for those of you who are wondering what she actually said and did she actually say that?

[00:26:43] Dimple Thakrar: Yes, she did. She did say it. Unclenched. Your butthole, right? Is that right, Juliettete? That's correct, 

[00:26:50] Juliette Karaman: yes. I do say that. That used to be one of my my things. I used to teach people, say, I'm clenched now! Yes. Yeah. 

[00:26:57] Dimple Thakrar: It is a very unique way of getting you into the present and also allowing you to witness how tense you actually are.

[00:27:09] Dimple Thakrar: Some people use drop your shoulders. Juliettete uses Unclench your butthole. And in her beautiful, cheeky, gorgeous, scrumptious way, Juliettete, thank you so much for joining us today. It has been an absolute delight, divulgence and honor to have you on Beyond the Words. Thank you so 

[00:27:36] Juliette Karaman: much.

[00:27:37] Juliette Karaman: It has been a pleasure. Thank you so much for having me. 

[00:27:41] Dimple Thakrar: So without further ado to my beautiful audience, what a privilege, I hope you have enjoyed this interview this conversation as much as I have and please reach out to Juliettete if this is something that you desire to go deeper into. Her podcast is phenomenal and again, once again, thank you for the time and privilege that you share and your energy that you share listening, viewing to this podcast, Beyond the Words.

[00:28:14] Dimple Thakrar: Take care. Have the best day. God bless.