052 Unlocking the Secrets of Relationships: Navigating the Stages of Love

Welcome back to Beyond the Words with me, Dimple Thakrar! 

Today, I'm delving into a subject that's been lighting up conversations everywhere – the stages of relationships and marriages. It's a hot topic, and I'm here to shed some light on why these stages happen and how to navigate them successfully.

Summary:
In this episode, I explore the different stages of relationships, starting with the blissful honeymoon phase, moving through depolarisation, and addressing the challenges of de-masculation. I share personal insights and examples, offering a roadmap for transforming relationships from conflict to connection. 

By understanding our authentic energies and learning effective communication, couples can navigate challenges and build stronger, more fulfilling partnerships.

Key Takeaways:

1. Recognise the stages: Understand where you are in your relationship journey without blame or judgment.
2. Educate yourself: Dive deep into understanding masculine and feminine energies and how they impact relationship dynamics
3. Articulate your needs: Learn to communicate consciously and honestly about what's going on in your relationship.
4. Resolve conflicts: Embrace healing and forgiveness as essential steps towards restoring intimacy and connection.
5. Test new strategies: Experiment with techniques to regulate emotions and foster understanding during challenging moments.

Whether you're in the honeymoon phase or facing relationship struggles, remember that commitment to growth and understanding is key to building a lasting, fulfilling partnership.

Thank you for joining me on this journey of exploration and discovery. If you have questions or want to learn more about my mentorship programs, reach out. Remember, the foundation of life is strong, healthy relationships, and together, we can create a world of love, abundance, and fulfillment. Until next time, take care, and God bless.

Dimple Thakrar Resource Links:

Website: https://dimpleglobal.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/dimple.thakrar
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dimplethakrar/

Chapters

• 0:00 Introduction: Dimple introduces relationship stages.
• 2:19 Honeymoon: The initial phase of attraction and authenticity.
• 3:50 Depolarisation: Shifting dynamics due to life events
• 5:59 Demasculation: Consequences of losing masculine energy.
• 7:57 Options: Settling, straying, or resolving issues.
• 10:52 Resolution Process: Steps to regain balance.
• 11:53 Mentorship Programs: Dimple's support programs.
• 16:08 Conclusion: Reflecting on relationships and seeking help.

Transcript

Beyond the Words EP52

[00:00:00] Dimple Thakrar: Hello and welcome back to Beyond the Words with me Dimple Thakra. Today have I got a subject for you and the reason I'm doing this subject is because It keeps coming up. I keep getting asked about it. My TikTok videos on this have gone viral. It is a hot topic and that is the stages of a relationship or marriage.

[00:00:26] Dimple Thakrar: I'm going to dive deep. I'm going to go and explain the different stages and why they happen and how to come out of them. All right? So let's start with stage one, the honeymoon stage. Now, you all know what this is. This is the beginning. When it's all lovely and you're on your best behavior and you're just so into each other and so attracted.

[00:00:57] Dimple Thakrar: And this is when you have polarization. So you're in your authentic energy of masculine or feminine, and so is your partner, right? And if you're not sure what the masculine feminine energies are, go check out the podcast I did on that. I'm not going to dive into what those are today, I just want to focus on the different stages of a relationship.

[00:01:22] Dimple Thakrar: So the honeymoon stage is all about that, right? It's all about the yumminess of being with somebody. And then the next stage that can happen is the depolarization stage. Now, this usually happens when something significant has happened in your relationship. So it could be moving country, a loss of a parent, a change in job, a loss of a job a child being born, something significant that shifts the balance, right?

[00:01:57] Dimple Thakrar: That takes energy, that requires more effort. And so what happens here is, now I'll give you an example of what happened with me. It was when I had my first daughter and Something in my brain changed and something in my husband's brain changed. So what happened for me was, I suddenly became this protector, like this lioness, right?

[00:02:21] Dimple Thakrar: So protector energy is what? Masculine. And what happened for my husband was, he suddenly went into provider mode, but not provider emotionally, provider financially. And he went out to work, but he's a serial entrepreneur. So when he goes out to work, it's like from 6am till midnight. So imagine. I'm a new, I have a new baby, and I'm going, and I've no support because my mum wasn't alive, and my dad works full time.

[00:02:56] Dimple Thakrar: I had some support from my in laws, but my husband was out the whole day. I'm trying to breastfeed. I'm waking up with milk everywhere and it was a mess. And I started to develop stories of he doesn't care and I don't, I don't matter, and he is not bothered about the baby and all these things. So I went into protector mode.

[00:03:19] Dimple Thakrar: And so I rose in my masculine while he was in his masculine providing for us, right? Masculine on masculine, it depolarizes like magnets. There was no attraction. We repulsed each other. It was like living with a man for him, right? There's lots, what does that look like? Lots of bickering, lots of fighting, lots of righteousness, And no teamwork, always him against me, and very little intimacy because you need polarization.

[00:03:59] Dimple Thakrar: You need one of you to be the masculine, one of you to be the feminine, in order for there to be intimacy because that's how a magnet attracts, right? Positive and negative attracts. Positive and positive does not. Negative and negative does not. It repulses. And this is primal stuff I'm talking about. We went through that for about 10 years and you'll see a lot of couples after children, they're exhausted, there's no intimacy, there's no connection, everything's functional, your conversation is functional about the children or the schedule or, right?

[00:04:37] Dimple Thakrar: Complete disconnect. And I know many of you have been there. And then the next stage is the demasculation stage. And this is the stage where, because the male brain, its primal functions is to procreate, protect, provide, procreate. If they're not procreating, then they're primarily, they're here to create life, right?

[00:05:06] Dimple Thakrar: To spread the gene pool, right? To keep evolution, to keep this human species going. And the only way they can procreate is through having intimacy and sex, right? If there's depolarization, there's less chance of that happening. So what will happen? Either they'll go and find a woman who is Their feminine, or they will allow the woman to demasculate them so they will become a pleaser and drop into their inauthentic feminine, and the woman will demasculate him.

[00:05:45] Dimple Thakrar: So both are to blame. There's nobody, like everybody has to take responsibility of their own part. What does that look like? It looks like a woman who nags and controls and criticizes. and tells him what to do all the time. And you will see many elderly men, usually, but some younger ones, with their shoulders rounded and their heads down, and their brow beaten.

[00:06:15] Dimple Thakrar: That's the sign of a man who's in his inauthentic feminine. And the reason it happens is because then at least there's some polarization. Inauthentic Because she's in her inauthentic masculine, he's in his inauthentic feminine. So masculine feminine, there is some attraction. So there is intimacy, but it's scratch and itch kind of intimacy.

[00:06:35] Dimple Thakrar: It's not your passionate, wild intimacy that you have in your honeymoon phase. And so this phase can go on for decades. It went on for a decade with me and my husband until we get to the next stage and that is the end of the relationship unless they decide to solve this. So there's three things that can happen.

[00:07:04] Dimple Thakrar: Four things. They can either settle and you'll see old couples like this. They stray. Somebody has an affair or you solve. Three things or you solve. And the way you solve is to address the real problem. And the real problem is, nobody's operating in their authentic energy. So it requires a real healthy conversation.

[00:07:30] Dimple Thakrar: It requires for the woman to trust that her man will take care of him, of her, sorry, And it requires the man to actually start leading. And it sounds easier than what it, what I'm saying. Sounds easy, right? But it's not.

[00:07:50] Dimple Thakrar: Promise you though, when you do this work, everything changes. But it starts with a decision to do it. It starts with a decision to be fully committed to your relationship. Because half in, half out, I'm in when it's good, but if it's not good I'm ready to leave. No. At that point when you feel like you're ready to leave.

[00:08:14] Dimple Thakrar: That's when you are in your fight or flight mode, and it's actually the worst time to make a decision in that moment. The best thing you can do for yourself is regulate your nervous system through breath, work through nature, through giving yourself a minute. It's the worst time to make a decision.

[00:08:35] Dimple Thakrar: ' cause in the heat of the moment, you'll say and do things that you regret. So it's about can you fully commit to this relationship because if you can't then leave. But if you can fully commit. And what that looks like is you deciding to do the work for you. You deciding to figure out what your authentic balance is for you.

[00:08:59] Dimple Thakrar: And this is what I take people on this journey. And the me, I have two memberships. Ladies go first and men only. It's a journey. It's a program, it's a process. Doesn't happen overnight. You've got a highway to demasculation, if this is you, and a dirt track to a high standard of a healthy relationship and a healthy marriage.

[00:09:25] Dimple Thakrar: And only you can decide if this is right for you. Only you can decide.

[00:09:31] Dimple Thakrar: The first stage is to recognize where you're at. Be honest with yourself. It's my five step heart model. Be honest with yourself. Where are you both at? Without blaming anybody. Second stage. E. Get an education. Find out how to regain your divine feminine and regain your divine masculine.

[00:09:56] Dimple Thakrar: Really start to get an education. There's so many books out there. There's my courses that I run.

[00:10:02] Dimple Thakrar: And my courses again, Ladies Go First, Men Only. If you want information about that, reach out to me.

[00:10:07] Dimple Thakrar: And then, A, articulate. Actually speak what's going on. Learn how to communicate consciously. And again, I cover that in my programs. And in my mentorship. And then you've got our resolve. This is the healing. Can you release it out of your body? Can you resolve? Can you forgive? And forgiveness is not for them.

[00:10:38] Dimple Thakrar: It's for you. Forgiveness gives you freedom. Because if you don't forgive, you're ending up holding it in your body. You forgive to release for you. And then the final fifth step is test. Test. The waters. Try new things.

[00:10:59] Dimple Thakrar: Try to breathe instead of scream. Try to breathe instead of leave the room. Try to breathe instead of making a rash decision or saying something that you regret. Have strategies in place. Have a cold word that you can say to your partner when you feel like you're in fight or flight so that they understand what's going on and they, and ahead of time.

[00:11:26] Dimple Thakrar: You can say to him, I just need a minute when I say this word. For me, it's yellow flowers. For my partner, for my husband, it's code red. When he says code red, I know to just zip it and give him a moment. Because we've gone too far down that tunnel, and we don't want to keep going down and digging ourselves into a deeper hole.

[00:11:49] Dimple Thakrar: We respect each other and our standards enough to hold space for ourselves. Expecting him to provide safety for me is unfair. We Him expecting to, for me to take care of him is unfair. Does that mean he doesn't provide for me and I don't take care of him? No, I get to do that and he gets to do, to keep me safe.

[00:12:15] Dimple Thakrar: It's a choice, it's not an obligation because I know how to keep myself safe and he knows how to take care of himself. The purpose of being in a relationship is so that you get to do that for each other and in that you grow. I promise you, this expansion, this time you invest in learning this, will make the difference between you settling, somebody straying.

[00:12:44] Dimple Thakrar: You will have the next evolution of relationship. And I promise you, you don't do the work and you go to somebody else, and you end up splitting. That was the other one, split. And you end up splitting.

[00:13:00] Dimple Thakrar: You're going to have the same problem again, because you will never have actually resolved the problem. Only this time, can you imagine somebody else raising your children that don't love them in the same way as you're the father of your child. for the mother of your child. That's what you'd have to deal with.

[00:13:19] Dimple Thakrar: And is that something you're prepared to do just because you were too lazy to really understand what the problem was and learn about it and get help? Because that's the other piece, you can't do this alone. You do need help with it because you can't see your own blind spots and you don't know all the skills and the differences between men and women and understanding how to get out of it.

[00:13:45] Dimple Thakrar: So I wanted to share this today because So many of you've asked me on TikTok, on Facebook, can I expand on this conversation? And so it's my honor and privilege to expand on it today. If you have any questions, reach out. If you want to understand more about my mentorship, I do a year long for men, a year long for women, men only, ladies go first, and you get my live mentorship.

[00:14:15] Dimple Thakrar: With me in those containers and you get a community that is ready to take radical self responsibility, their own relationship skills. I promise you the magic that's happening in this group. I've had women that are in a matter of a week turning around their relationships, feeling more joy and happiness and peace.

[00:14:38] Dimple Thakrar: I've had men that have felt alive and more clear and connected than they've ever felt. And the funny thing that happens, which I've noticed over the years, with the hundreds of couples that I've worked with The funny thing that's happened is that everything else in their life suddenly starts to pick up.

[00:15:02] Dimple Thakrar: Their work, their relationships with their children, their relationships with their exes, their relationship, like everything. They start to make more money, life starts to flow their way. It's wild how suddenly everything picks up. Business is 10x. If you're going to invest in a business coach, I would, and your marriage is on the rocks, I would actually invest in a relationship coach and watch how your business skyrockets.

[00:15:31] Dimple Thakrar: Because here's what I believe, the foundation of life is your relationship. And then we build the home of family, business, friends, Children. And here's what I have found with me. Until I stabilized the foundations, I kept building, we kept building this home and it kept falling at a certain level. I couldn't build a skyscraper because the foundation was just too unstable.

[00:16:03] Dimple Thakrar: So the key to life is to build the foundation. It's to build it so strong. That you can build the highest skyscrapers in the world of love, of life, of business, of affluence, of impact, of philanthropy.

[00:16:20] Dimple Thakrar: Cause my mission here really is how can we create a world where we have incredible role models for our children, in love, in life, in relationships, where people are so abundant in love and money. and satisfaction and fulfillment. Cause you can, I've worked with billionaires that are miserable. They have everything but have nothing.

[00:16:46] Dimple Thakrar: And I've worked with people who have average income and are willing to do the work for fulfillment. and happiness and connection.

[00:16:59] Dimple Thakrar: So I hope today you found this useful. I know that many of you have asked and I feel really honored and privileged that you've listened to this point because it's not an easy conversation because it requires you to look inwards and go, holy shit, that's me. And for those of you who haven't yet seen the podcast that I did about my Tony Robbins intervention.

[00:17:24] Dimple Thakrar: Go back, because now it will make even more sense, and if you have seen it, go back. It's episode three, I think. It will make even more sense. Alright, my loves. Have the best day. Take care, and God bless.