008 The Power of Self-Trust: Moving from Pleaser to Sovereign

Hello, hello! I’m Dimple Thakrar, and welcome back to Beyond the Words! Today, we’re diving into the powerful journey of learning to trust yourself. If you’ve ever struggled with self-doubt or ignoring that little inner voice, this episode is for you. I’ll share my own experiences with trusting—and not trusting—my instincts, and the important lessons that came from it. Let’s explore what it means to align with your truth and find peace in being your authentic self.

Episode Summary:

In this episode, Dimple Thakrar takes listeners on a personal journey exploring the essence of self-trust and the transformative impact it has on life decisions and relationships. Through candid stories, she reflects on times when she went against her intuition, leading to challenging outcomes. Dimple describes how trusting oneself—being in alignment with one’s true nature—attracts more fulfilling experiences and genuine connections.

Listeners are introduced to three archetypes that represent different ways of relating to oneself and others: the Pleaser, the Rebel, and the Sovereign. Dimple explains the tendencies of each archetype, from sacrificing one’s needs to please others to reclaiming one’s power by embodying the Sovereign, who can navigate chaos with inner calm. This framework helps listeners identify where they may be holding themselves back or blaming others for their unhappiness. Dimple shares insights on how moving through these archetypes can lead to self-awareness, peace, and resilience.

The episode is a deep dive into self-reflection and growth, encouraging listeners to tune into their intuition and let go of responsibility for others’ reactions. Dimple’s message is one of empowerment, showing that true self-trust is about embracing discomfort and evolving beyond old patterns.

Key Takeaways:

1. Trust Begins Within: Genuine trust in others starts with self-trust. Trusting your intuition brings alignment and clarity.
2. Recognize and Honor Your Archetype: Knowing if you’re in the Pleaser, Rebel, or Sovereign mode helps you understand your responses and make empowered choices.
3. Learn From Repeated Patterns: Life sends lessons repeatedly until we learn from them. Embracing these lessons helps shift towards greater self-awareness.
4. Embrace Discomfort as a Growth Tool: Discomfort signals growth; rather than avoiding it, lean in to uncover deeper self-understanding.
5. Choose Peace Over Control: The Sovereign archetype exemplifies self-responsibility, choosing calm and clarity even in challenging situations.

Thank you so much for tuning in and joining me on this journey of trust and transformation. If this episode spoke to you, please leave a review or share it with someone who might need a reminder to trust their own instincts. Let’s keep growing together—connect with me on social media to share your thoughts or ask any questions. Until next time, keep trusting, keep growing, and stay aligned with your truth. God bless!

Dimple Thakrar Resource Links:

Website: https://dimpleglobal.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/dimple.thakrar
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dimplethakrar/

Chapters

• 0:00 Introduction and Theme of Trust
• 2:23 Defining Trust and Self-Alignment
• 4:23 Ignoring Intuition: A Personal Story
• 7:23 Lessons in Repeated Patterns
• 9:13 The Pleaser Archetype
• 13:13 The Rebel Archetype
• 14:43 The Sovereign Archetype
• 16:53 Moving Through Archetypes
• 17:53 Embracing the Journey of Growth
• 19:23 Conclusion and Empowerment Message
• 20:29 Thank You and Farewell

Transcript

Beyond the Words S2 EP08

[00:00:00] Dimple Thakrar: Hello, hello, and welcome back to Beyond the Words with me, Dimple Thakra. Gosh, today is all about the magic of trusting, the magic. of trusting yourself. And the reason this is coming through for me today is I've spent a lifetime not trusting myself. And I'm going to go through why it's important, what is it that's important about it and how it can impact your life and others.

[00:00:45] Dimple Thakrar: So why is it important? Well, first of all, what is trust? Trust, for me, is when I'm doing something or with somebody that makes me feel like they know me, like they get me, like they're on my side. So that's when I am with somebody who I trust. Trusting myself is exactly the same. It's when I'm in a place of knowing I'm in full alignment with who I am, knowing who I am, and knowing that I've got me.

[00:01:33] Dimple Thakrar: And it's so interesting, right? Because we often think that we have to source trust from outside of ourselves and that we have to be able to trust others in order to succeed in life. And there is an element of that. But what I've realized is that as I've got older, Wiser, greyer, embracing the grey. I've realised that actually, I can only trust others when I trust myself.

[00:02:04] Dimple Thakrar: You see, if I don't trust my own decision and my own discernment to figure out who they are and what they are, if I'm wobbly inside of me, That creates a frequency of wobbly. So that creates a frequency of my decisions being wobbly and my decisions not being of the highest discernment. So what do I mean?

[00:02:33] Dimple Thakrar: I'll give you an example. There are so many times in my business life where I've taken somebody on or. I've made a decision to go with a project that I haven't felt 100 percent fully on board. And what's happened is, I've gone with pleasing them. For example, years back, there was this great guy that came and he, Did a brilliant sales pitch and Joe and I were just talking about selling and he told me a story and he really made me feel like he got me, like he understood my position, he understood where I was coming from and so I hired him and yet there was something inside of me that was like.

[00:03:32] Dimple Thakrar: No, this is not going to work. He's not going to be able to deliver what you need. And it's not cause he can't deliver it. It's because I don't trust him. Cause there was something niggly about him that I didn't trust. My intuition was telling me that, and I was going against it. And great guy, call him Bob again for security.

[00:03:59] Dimple Thakrar: Great guy. Said all the right things. Did all the right things. But there was something, and it took me 18, no two years of paying him. It got to the point where it was, it started at two grand and then it got to seven KA month. Ha. And the whole time I wasn't getting the results in my business. And the whole time I was so sucked into the story and the wanting to please, going against my nature, going against what I felt was right.

[00:04:40] Dimple Thakrar: And I allowed him to take advantage of my nature. Hear that language. I'm not blaming him. I'm taking full responsibility. I allowed him to take advantage.

[00:04:56] Dimple Thakrar: I went against my gut instinct, against my intuition, and I dishonored and distrusted myself in that process. And as a result, I was a match, an energetic match for dishonor and distrust. What does that mean? I was the magnet because I was being dishonest and distrustful to myself. Boo, the codes of send me dishonest and distrust came out.

[00:05:28] Dimple Thakrar: And therefore, that's what I attracted in them. Now, does that mean that person, Bob, wasn't a good person? No, it just means that's what I attracted in them. And so the moment I realized that actually I am being sent this whole piece as a lesson. And I firmly believe that we get sent uncomfortable things as lessons in life.

[00:06:01] Dimple Thakrar: And we don't learn the first time, guess what happens? We get it again, but we get it even bigger and even stronger. The second time. And if we don't learn the second time, we get it again. Have you ever had that feeling where you're like, why the hell do I keep going down this route? I want to give you another example.

[00:06:28] Dimple Thakrar: I had a client and he came to me because he was struggling with relationships and he was going from one woman to another, to another, and. He kept saying, I get to the two year mark with these beautiful women. He was in his sixties and he was dating like 30 year olds. And I get to this, beautiful.

[00:06:49] Dimple Thakrar: You can imagine that the picture, beautiful Russian women, stunning. And, he says, I get to the two year mark and I find out either they cheated on me or they're taking the piss. And he says, I don't understand, I'm a nice guy, I give them everything, I set them up, they have their own con, everything. Why is it that this keeps happening?

[00:07:13] Dimple Thakrar: And I simply said, what's the lesson? Because if you are getting repeated experiences over and over again, your soul is being called to learn something and you are the energetic match for this experience until you've learnt the lesson. Because until you learn the lesson, you're always going to have the frequency of the thing that's coming to you, right?

[00:07:41] Dimple Thakrar: So what is the lesson? What was the lesson for him? And nine times out of ten. What I have come to realize is that the lesson is often being a pleaser, lack of boundaries and lack of awareness on what you really want. Until you get clear on what you really want and then are able to decide what your line is, and if anybody crosses that line, what the consequences are, and able to communicate that line really cleanly, you're always going to be a pleaser.

[00:08:21] Dimple Thakrar: What's a pleaser? Somebody who does stuff for everybody else. Puts everybody else first before themselves. And the problem with that is, nobody wins. Because they know you're doing it from an inauthentic place. They can feel it, and it feels icky. You build up resentment because you think that they're taking the piss when actually you're allowing it.

[00:08:46] Dimple Thakrar: Nobody wins. And the truth You know, it's interesting. Tony Robbins says this thing. He says the truth will set you free.

[00:08:59] Dimple Thakrar: The truth in that moment is when you're a pleaser, , you're not honoring truth. You're doing what you think they want. And that's based on assumptions. That's based on you assuming you know what they want in your map of the world. Guess what? They don't live in your map of the world, you do.

[00:09:19] Dimple Thakrar: I see mothers do this, I see fathers do this a lot with children, assuming their children want what they want. And I know best. It's not true. We are all brought to this world. Our souls, I believe, are just pure energy. And we get put into these beautiful bodies. Vehicles, vessels, whatever you want to call them.

[00:09:49] Dimple Thakrar: And the reason we get put into these vessels, into these vehicles is because our souls can only grow through feeling. And you can't feel unless you have a physical body. And so there are. It's a cycle of growth. Growth is a cycle. There's a comfortableness. And then suddenly, life is great. It feels amazing.

[00:10:13] Dimple Thakrar: And then suddenly there's a road, what feels like a roadblock comes up. And the roadblock is so hard to deal with. at times. It feels uncomfortable. It feels icky. It can be something happening at work. It can be a big decision you have to make. It can be deciding whether to stay or not in a relationship.

[00:10:35] Dimple Thakrar: It can be having to say a hard no to your children or your partner. It can be deciding to let somebody go. How many times have you held on to a relationship? One too many years. Or how many times have you held on to a friendship? One too many months. How many times have you said yes to people?

[00:10:57] Dimple Thakrar: One too many times. Right? And so what happens is you get into a rhythm and a pattern of being a pleaser because it's easier. And this whole cycle of growth and why our souls choose these bodies is because we have to feel uncomfortable. Now the discomfort can come through pleasure or pain, usually it's through pain, but something has to shift for you to feel uncomfortable.

[00:11:28] Dimple Thakrar: Why? Because if you sat comfy on your sofa, you're not going to move. You're not going to search for new solutions. And so we often fall into pleaserness because it's comfortable. We don't have to grow. But here's the problem with that. As long as we're pleasing, as long as we're comfortable, we don't grow.

[00:11:54] Dimple Thakrar: Nothing changes. And you end up dishonoring who you are. You end up feeling like something's just not right. So then we step into the next cycle, which is the rebel. These are the three, I'm going to talk you through the three archetypes that I work with. So we've got the pleaser, then there's the rebel.

[00:12:19] Dimple Thakrar: Now the rebel is somebody who doesn't take responsibility of their actions and blames others. I could see this with this client, he was blaming the women for taking the piss, for taking advantage. And I did that with the, with Bob. I blamed him for taking advantage and I got really mad and I went to the rebel and I started undoing things and making crazy decisions that I was doing from a place of reaction.

[00:12:49] Dimple Thakrar: And frustration and anger. But really, who was the frustration and anger with? It wasn't with It wasn't with Bob. And for the client, it wasn't with the girls, the ladies. It was really with myself. I let myself down. Because I let things go on too long. Even when I knew inside of me. And I distrusted and dishonored myself in order to please others.

[00:13:20] Dimple Thakrar: And I set them up to fail, and I set me up to fail. And the pleaser, the rebel, comes from a really kind place. But it's the flip side of the truth. It's the immature side of maturity. It's two sides to the coin. And I ask myself, and I hear you asking, So what is the right place? It's the next stage.

[00:13:49] Dimple Thakrar: It's the sovereign. It's the place where you can sit comfortably in chaos, where you can experience discomfort in your body and know you'll be okay. Where you can experience discomfort and feel peace. I arrived to that with this particular Bob when I realized that letting him go was not only good for me and my business, but it was also setting him free.

[00:14:23] Dimple Thakrar: Because I felt his frustration in not being able to deliver what he needed to for me.

[00:14:29] Dimple Thakrar: Did he take the piss? Yeah, it was a lot of money. Did I let him? Yeah, I did. Did I get angry about it? Resentful? Yes, I did. But ultimately I was the one that let that happen. I was the one that said yes.

[00:14:45] Dimple Thakrar: So the name of the game is how can you move through these phases as quickly as possible while still learning the lessons so that you don't get sent the lesson again but bigger. The key is Am I in the pleaser mode? Am I in the rebel? Am I in the sovereign? And the way you know is how you feel. If the pleaser feels as though it's exhausting, you're serving everybody else against your truth.

[00:15:25] Dimple Thakrar: That's the pleaser. If the rebel feels as though you're fighting everyone for justice and your truth and they have to win sorry, they have to lose in order for you to win, that's the rebel. The sovereign sits unconditionally. The sovereign decides that whether or not whatever the conditions are outside of them, they can choose peace or they can choose to liberate themselves By saying no, by letting go, for the greater good of them first, for the greater good of the other person, and for the greater good of all.

[00:16:13] Dimple Thakrar: So which one are you being today? And which decision are you making today? And are you making it from a place of the pleaser, the rebel, or the sovereign? And the key here is not to make any of those archetypes wrong. Okay.

[00:16:35] Dimple Thakrar: The key is to honour them, and honour where you're at. Because actually, the truth is, it's a journey. It's a season. And the moment you can have peace with that is the moment you collapse time around it. It's the moment you don't stay in those archetypes for very long. Because really, the only person that makes you stay in them is yourself.

[00:17:00] Dimple Thakrar: In a weird kind of way, it's fun to sit in stuckness. Because then you've got something to moan and talk about. Because you don't have to do anything about it. The hardest position is the sovereign. Where you do the inner work. Where you decide that actually, I am worth fighting for me. I am worth slaying all the dragons inside of me, for me.

[00:17:28] Dimple Thakrar: I am worth loving all the dragons inside of me, for me. Because when you get to that place, and it swings in roundabouts every day I move from the Pleaser, the Rebel, the Sovereign, every day it's a cycle. But what I've come to realize is I don't spend days now in the Pleaser, or months in the Pleaser, or months in the Rebel.

[00:17:55] Dimple Thakrar: And I can quickly get to the Sovereign through my heart, and knowing that I'm gonna be okay. So whoever needs to hear this today, you're gonna be okay. Whatever you're going through, gonna be okay. Because when you can reach that place of knowing you're gonna be okay, that's when you become an energetic match for being okay.

[00:18:26] Dimple Thakrar: That's when your world around you will shift. And it may look the same, but you will respond differently to it. Because you're gonna be okay. They're gonna be okay. And it's not your responsibility. How others respond. All you can do is choose which archetype are you gonna be today. And therefore, be the energetic match and emanate that frequency.

[00:18:58] Dimple Thakrar: And therefore, lead with your peace, with your calmness. Through every storm, through every chaos. Cause you're gonna be okay. They will be okay. It will be okay.

[00:19:16] Dimple Thakrar: Thank you so much for joining me today. Thank you so much for this depth of conversation. For some of you, it will go over your heads and that's okay. Come back to it. For some of you, this will land way deeper than you ever anticipated. Deep heart colds. Deep transmission. This is my gift. It's been a pleasure and privilege to serve you today.

[00:19:49] Dimple Thakrar: God bless.